Drillbit Taylor: Feels Like A Drillbit Through The Brain
Did Judd Apatow owe someone a favor? Did he lose a bet to the wrong guy? Was Seth Rogen stoned out of his mind when he was brought on to be a writer for this turkey? Okay, more than likely he was. I just don’t understand how such brilliant comedic minds like these two could get caught in such a tragically big-budget unfunny comedy like Drillbit Taylor. It wasn’t the worst time I’ve had in the movies, but it’s definitely close.
The movie could have been called Superbad: Four Years Earlier. It tells the story of Ryan (Troy Gentile), an overweight boy about to start his first day in high school along with is extremely skinny and meek friend Wade (Nate Hardly). They dream of popularity and acceptance, only to show up wearing the same ridiculous shirt and becoming a target for the school bully (Alex Frost) when Wade sticks up for the pippish Emmitt (David Dorfman). This bully is extremely masochistic and cruel. Not only that, but he’s able to hoodwink every adult in this school (which doesn’t seem to have a budget for hall monitors).
After a while, they get tired of being picked on that they take to hiring a bodyguard. But who will take their offer of $100 a week? Well, a homeless ex-military named Drillbit Taylor, played by Owen Wilson. He spends his day panhandling for change and small thievery before taking the job. Once he has it, he goes about stealing from the boys, who almost beg to be taken. But does he handle the bully? Well…not exactly. In fact, you can almost say that he doesn’t fit any purpose on this movie except to privately ridicule the boys instead of the public kind that they get from the bully. And you know that the boys are going to like him and that he’ll find a soft spot for them too and follow the formula railroad right down to it’s completely predictable ending.
I don’t hate this movie. I feel sorry for it. There is stuff here that would make for a really good movie, possibly an actual comedy if it would have stayed away from the tired, half-hearted slapstick. Take out the Drillbit character altogether, give us a realistic look at a modern-day bully, and possibly a little satire. And then it would be the prequel to Superbad, and a worthy prequel at that. But it feels as though the filmmakers didn’t want to offend anybody…except the audience’s intelligence.
I always knew that Owen Wilson’s brand of comedy would get old, but I never expected it to get old so soon. If there ever was one person who could make Drillbit work, it would have been him. This film was made just around the time he had been going through a rough patch in his personal life. I wonder if maybe that emotional exhaustion might not have worked for a better, smaller character in this movie. If they would have made this character “what you see is what you get” and have his friendship with the boys be more genuine, I think it could have made Owen’s career. Gentile, Hardly and Dorfman all have comedic timing, but director Steven Brill doesn’t know what to do with it. In fact, Brill has showed time and again that he isn’t capable of understanding real comedy outside of cheesy gags and cheap tricks.
But my biggest scorn goes to writers Seth Rogen, Kristofer Brown, and the legendary John Hughes. I could have been the first to tell you that Rogen and Hughes, while both have made great movies about teenage angst, are complete polar opposites. In fact, I could see the movie being pulled apart by Hughes gimmick-riddled technique and Rogen’s street-savvy raunch. But you’re going to tell me that they couldn’t find any middle ground between these two styles? Well, maybe not.
All in all, this movie is a travesty. It’s a perfectly bad idea (kids hiring a bodyguard) wrapped around a really good idea (dealing with a modern-day bully). But you know what they say about a turd wrapped in a candy shell… It still comes out to be Drillbit Taylor.
Grade: D
Check Out The FilmScope Two-Minute Review Podcast Here:
The movie could have been called Superbad: Four Years Earlier. It tells the story of Ryan (Troy Gentile), an overweight boy about to start his first day in high school along with is extremely skinny and meek friend Wade (Nate Hardly). They dream of popularity and acceptance, only to show up wearing the same ridiculous shirt and becoming a target for the school bully (Alex Frost) when Wade sticks up for the pippish Emmitt (David Dorfman). This bully is extremely masochistic and cruel. Not only that, but he’s able to hoodwink every adult in this school (which doesn’t seem to have a budget for hall monitors).
After a while, they get tired of being picked on that they take to hiring a bodyguard. But who will take their offer of $100 a week? Well, a homeless ex-military named Drillbit Taylor, played by Owen Wilson. He spends his day panhandling for change and small thievery before taking the job. Once he has it, he goes about stealing from the boys, who almost beg to be taken. But does he handle the bully? Well…not exactly. In fact, you can almost say that he doesn’t fit any purpose on this movie except to privately ridicule the boys instead of the public kind that they get from the bully. And you know that the boys are going to like him and that he’ll find a soft spot for them too and follow the formula railroad right down to it’s completely predictable ending.
I don’t hate this movie. I feel sorry for it. There is stuff here that would make for a really good movie, possibly an actual comedy if it would have stayed away from the tired, half-hearted slapstick. Take out the Drillbit character altogether, give us a realistic look at a modern-day bully, and possibly a little satire. And then it would be the prequel to Superbad, and a worthy prequel at that. But it feels as though the filmmakers didn’t want to offend anybody…except the audience’s intelligence.
I always knew that Owen Wilson’s brand of comedy would get old, but I never expected it to get old so soon. If there ever was one person who could make Drillbit work, it would have been him. This film was made just around the time he had been going through a rough patch in his personal life. I wonder if maybe that emotional exhaustion might not have worked for a better, smaller character in this movie. If they would have made this character “what you see is what you get” and have his friendship with the boys be more genuine, I think it could have made Owen’s career. Gentile, Hardly and Dorfman all have comedic timing, but director Steven Brill doesn’t know what to do with it. In fact, Brill has showed time and again that he isn’t capable of understanding real comedy outside of cheesy gags and cheap tricks.
But my biggest scorn goes to writers Seth Rogen, Kristofer Brown, and the legendary John Hughes. I could have been the first to tell you that Rogen and Hughes, while both have made great movies about teenage angst, are complete polar opposites. In fact, I could see the movie being pulled apart by Hughes gimmick-riddled technique and Rogen’s street-savvy raunch. But you’re going to tell me that they couldn’t find any middle ground between these two styles? Well, maybe not.
All in all, this movie is a travesty. It’s a perfectly bad idea (kids hiring a bodyguard) wrapped around a really good idea (dealing with a modern-day bully). But you know what they say about a turd wrapped in a candy shell… It still comes out to be Drillbit Taylor.
Grade: D
Check Out The FilmScope Two-Minute Review Podcast Here:
Download | Duration: 00:02:08
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